Oh, sweet, sweet nostalgia. You apply that beautiful sepia filter to all of my memories, the good ones, and the bad. You make believe that everything was so easy back then. You spoil my naive brain to perceive the present as crude and way too bright. You trap me in the past again and again. There is something so irresistibly bittersweet about your lure.
But you deceive me, day after day. It wasn’t actually all that much easier back then. Yesterday yesterday appeared just as crude and way too bright as today seems today. You are like a drug I like too much to ever free myself from you. The trips you take me on make me laugh and cry and wonder. Your veil of betrayal protects me. Protects me from asking that inevitable and dangerous question “What if?”.
You are a bad companion. Whenever I need you most you fail me horribly. If only you were there for me then. But, no. You spoil my present when it is most enjoyable. And, worst of all, you are ambitious. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice it when you tried to creep into my today? Sneaky bitch, you. And it’s not only me, is it? You’ve been quite successful with this particular endeavour, I’ve heard. They call it ‘hipsterhood’ these days, but I know, oh I know – it’s really you.
What can I say though? I’ll never be able to leave you. I love you so very much. This hate/love relationship shall not end so soon, although I will continue flirting with cynicism, that bastard, and you can’t do nothing against that. And you’re not really that bad. After all, you remind me of who I am and, occasionally, of what I have always wanted and really still want. You stopped me from forgetting how much I love books and music and the people I love. I owe you big time.