Guilty

Neglecting your blog feels a bit like neglecting your child. It gives you the impression of being a bad human being. And frankly, if you neglect your child that does kind of make you a bad person. And yes, I’m a grown woman I should know that no one really cares if I don’t blog for a while, and even if they did, neglecting a blog does not automatically make you a bad person (although, if you neglect both your blog and your child, you’re still a bad person in the grand scheme of things, sorry).

Well, anyway. I’m not making my point very clear. The good person/bad person debate is of no importance and I have no affiliation with child neglect, so don’t worry. Thing is, I started blogging almost two months ago because I thought it might make me happier. And it did. It still does. But at the same time, it has also added to my daily guilt. Where the voice only said ‘You should study for your exams!’ and ‘You should sleep less!’ and ‘Wash your hands!’ it now also adds ‘You should write a post’, it questions ‘When exactly was the last time you published something?’ and mocks me with ‘You can’t even blog!’.

This was not the plan! I did not plan to turn my “I could start a blog” into an “I should write a post”. I’m tired of the coulds and shoulds. To be fair, my plan was not too helpful. Of course it planned that blogging would make me happy and wholesome, but I had also promised to write a post a day, which, you know, is possible (and was a lot of fun), but also very demanding. Then, I didn’t do myself a favour in this regard by signing up to all sorts of Blogging University courses. Well, I kind of did. These courses are amazing. They motivate you, challenge you and, most of all, provide an opportunity to connect with loads of other people. I would wholeheartedly recommend them. But I was now faced with an additional daily assignment that guilt-trapped me.

Looking back, I should have done either or: Either following my own agenda or fully committing to the course. Okay, now switch the positive thinking on: The only thing worse than the shoulds and coulds are the should have dones, so rephrasing is needed. I have learned not to put too much on my plate because I have recognised that I am no good at dealing with guilt, so I will act accordingly in the future. There we go.

Now, of course, a new plan (a better plan!) is needed. I must warn you, it is in it’s early stages, but I can already disclose that it involves fewer posts (I know, but would you please try and keep the sobbing down), an editorial calendar and weekly feature(s)!

Hehe, my ‘L’ key is a bit moody so I kept typing ‘pan’ instead of ‘plan’. Such giggles.

Stay cosy

B x

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