Guilty

Neglecting your blog feels a bit like neglecting your child. It gives you the impression of being a bad human being. And frankly, if you neglect your child that does kind of make you a bad person. And yes, I’m a grown woman I should know that no one really cares if I don’t blog for a while, and even if they did, neglecting a blog does not automatically make you a bad person (although, if you neglect both your blog and your child, you’re still a bad person in the grand scheme of things, sorry).

Well, anyway. I’m not making my point very clear. The good person/bad person debate is of no importance and I have no affiliation with child neglect, so don’t worry. Thing is, I started blogging almost two months ago because I thought it might make me happier. And it did. It still does. But at the same time, it has also added to my daily guilt. Where the voice only said ‘You should study for your exams!’ and ‘You should sleep less!’ and ‘Wash your hands!’ it now also adds ‘You should write a post’, it questions ‘When exactly was the last time you published something?’ and mocks me with ‘You can’t even blog!’.

This was not the plan! I did not plan to turn my “I could start a blog” into an “I should write a post”. I’m tired of the coulds and shoulds. To be fair, my plan was not too helpful. Of course it planned that blogging would make me happy and wholesome, but I had also promised to write a post a day, which, you know, is possible (and was a lot of fun), but also very demanding. Then, I didn’t do myself a favour in this regard by signing up to all sorts of Blogging University courses. Well, I kind of did. These courses are amazing. They motivate you, challenge you and, most of all, provide an opportunity to connect with loads of other people. I would wholeheartedly recommend them. But I was now faced with an additional daily assignment that guilt-trapped me.

Looking back, I should have done either or: Either following my own agenda or fully committing to the course. Okay, now switch the positive thinking on: The only thing worse than the shoulds and coulds are the should have dones, so rephrasing is needed. I have learned not to put too much on my plate because I have recognised that I am no good at dealing with guilt, so I will act accordingly in the future. There we go.

Now, of course, a new plan (a better plan!) is needed. I must warn you, it is in it’s early stages, but I can already disclose that it involves fewer posts (I know, but would you please try and keep the sobbing down), an editorial calendar and weekly feature(s)!

Hehe, my ‘L’ key is a bit moody so I kept typing ‘pan’ instead of ‘plan’. Such giggles.

Stay cosy

B x

Catch-Up Time And All About You

For me weekends are, and always have been, about catching up. Whether it was homework during my school career, catching up with friends and family or, like today, with assignments. As a part of Blogging University’s ‘Blogging 101’ course I have already written about why I blog, changed my blog title and added a tagline, yet, after only one week, I am terribly behind. Luckily, weekends are off and allow us busy blogging newbies to go back and see what we missed out.

Let’s see. I left out Friday’s “Love Your Theme”, but I’ve been through the process of the preview binge when I started the blog back in October and feel no need to repeat this experience. Why change something that works perfectly well for me?

So, next. Oh, I missed out on Thursday’s assignment, too.This is an interesting one: “Write To Your Dream Reader” (and include a new-to-you element, don’t like this part…). So, here we go.

You, my dear reader, probably know yourself best. You have your own opinions and convictions, but you love to learn about other people’s views. After all, isn’t it fascinating how different and yet similar all or our lives are? You’ve found yourself relate to someone with a life If you are part of Blogging 101, you are most likely familiar with the sensation of marveling at how diverse the blogs of participants are – from heavy metal aficionados to fiction-writing housewives. But what most impresses you is the amount of passion that each devotes to their life. You probably have your own blog or are toying with the idea, admit it. You have something to say, anything, and you like a good challenge (especially if it involves ticking things off a list!!).

But most importantly, you have an everyday life that has its unrecognized pit-falls and difficulties, difficulties that are rarely talked about and seem trivial but actually have quite an impact. And you know that the pleasure is in the little things – the two minutes that you stay in bed longer than you should and the teaspoon of honey that you add to your tea.

Ideally, of course, you enjoy reading this blog.

B x

Why Do We Blog?

Yes, why DO we blog? Do we crave the attention, the publication, maybe even fame? Or is this just the 21st century version of keeping a personal diary?

Obviously, everyone has to answer this question for themselves, but I’d like to urge you to do so at some point. Why do YOU blog? And because no one should ever ask someone to do what they are not themselves ready to do, here are (some of) the reasons why I blog:

Because I like writing. Writing has become a part of all our lives and doing so willingly is essential for getting by. Whether it is a novel, a thesis, a postcard or an application – writing can be a massive pain. What to write? And how? Although I have always liked writing (probably because I like reading so much), I am well accustomed to the dread that might come with having (or wanting) to write something. Writing a blog, I hope, will serve as some kind of therapy to this ill and make me less hesitant to sit down and start typing.

Because it helps me out. Life is complicated. We notice this largely due to the magic that is the human brain, but this lovely tool also has it’s quirks: It plays tricks on us and we never seem to be in control of it (just think of guilty pleasures and morbidly inappropriate thoughts). My brain appears to be all over the place. I get so overwhelmed by thoughts and impressions that my everyday life just swallows me up completely. And not always in a good way. Blogging gives me the necessary time and space to focus, reflect and see the bigger picture, which has proven to be awfully helpful. Yet, on the other hand it has also inspired me to hold on to the little things. Moments, thoughts and conversations that seemed irrelevant before suddenly become potential topics for a blog post.

Because for some reason I have always failed at writing a diary. Maybe you know this. Ever since I learned how to write I yearned to write a diary (rhyme!!). It seemed so awfully poetic and dramatic and meaningful. It never worked out. I never made it past five pages, which also meant that I was always in possession of notebooks that had the first few pages written on and were therefore rendered useless (at least from the perspective of perfectionist young me). So frustrating. When I started blogging I knew I was at danger of falling back into this pattern. But somehow I didn’t. Not so far. I think the notion that people could read what I write also helps. I’m not crazy about the Stats, but I love the thought that someone somewhere in the world might read this and think “Yes, this is exactly how I feel” or “She has no f****** idea what she’s going on about”, you know – that it might trigger an opinion or an emotion.

What are YOUR reasons?

B x

Blogosphere And Wills And Ways

As part of her happiness project Gretchen Rubin launched a blog. This was part of my inspiration to revitalize a blog I had started while without internet (who has an idea like that? Read it here) but not continued regularly – this blog. So now, as part of me mirroring that lady’s resolutions, it is time for me to use this as a pit stop and reflect upon how it is going.

Well, I guess, once you have you blog all set up, all you need to do is write, and, if you’re lucky, there’s people out there reading what you are writing. But, let me tell you, the first steps aren’t that easy when you’re new to the blogosphere (I hope people don’t actually use that as a word in real life), it is pretty confusing. What I have learned: The settings are your friends. Many problems get resolved if you just go through them once from beginning to end.

Apart from that, I am sort of having an odd start into daily blogging, because I started a week before I left uni for Christmas break and I knew I would not have time to write a blog post daily, yet I was not ready to fail my resolution to ‘blog daily’ every single day for over two weeks. So, what did I do? I though of some more or less things I could write about and then I wrote all of the posts in advance, scheduled them and left the blog to itself till I returned to Germany. Well, at least that was the plan. Turns out it’s not that easy to write fifteen blog posts in very little time especially when, like me, you have a tendency to write long elaborate sentences. So I am now halfway into Christmas break and I’ve managed to post daily, although I didn’t really have the time, and am now writing the last few posts so that I can finally lean back and fulfill my responsibilities towards my friends and family.

But, as they say in German ‘Wo ein Wille ist, ist auch ein Weg’ (where there’s a will, there is also a way), and I will manage to keep this one resolution. And I am also extremely blessed to have readers from four different continents (where are you, Africa?!), people who actually read what I write!!!! So, yes, going strong. And I intend to continue this streak.

B x