The Gilmore Girls Therapy

Whenever I have to sort out my life I do so watching Gilmore Girls. It is perfect. It is practically made for running in the background while I pay bills, clean my flat and make big life decisions. I’m not sure why. I guess it’s the perfect blend of interesting and trivial.

Plus, 77 episodes is the perfect length for a series that you can watch again and again: It is long enough that although I watched it a thousand times already I still can’t speak along the dialogue. And it is such a strong independent woman show. It motivates me to get a grip and move on with my life, live it. Okay, yes, that sounded a bit melodramatic. After all that would mean ‘living my life’ is checking emails, making doctor’s appointments and mobbing the floor. But, after all, sorting out my life, however boring, is better than sleeping all day and putting off showering for too long (to justify it, I tell myself that I’m giving my hair an all-natural conditioning… I know, sad). Plus, when I watch episodes of Gilmore Girls it isn’t even boring.

Also, Gilmore Girls is infinite inspiration. Rory Gilmore is my spirit animal. Just watching this show with its innumerable literary and pop culture references makes me want to do the things that I love doing. You know when you’re miserable and you know exactly what to do to stop being miserable, but you’re to miserable to do it? Yeah. Well, Gilmore Girls helps me escape that vicious circle. Who needs therapy, ay?

B x

Sorting Out My Life

Today I will sort out my life. During my last years at school this was a sentence that you would often hear from me. And though I resist voicing it these days (it’s become a bit of a joke, saying it out loud just makes me realise how ridiculous it sounds when said repeatedly), it is still very much a daily thought (except on the ‘dark’ days, of which yesterday was one).

And yes, it may be Sisyphean labour (you know it’s good when it refers to Greek mythology…) but having things sorted, or at least having a feeling of having things sorted, seems to be essential to my happiness. This is nothing new: I’ve already described to you in minute detail how much I value overview. Today, however, I’ll spill the guts about one of the ways that help me to obtain this reassuring but quite possibly imaginary feeling of control.

My not so secret tools are what I call (spot o’ Miranda!) ‘projects’. Whenever I think there is a problem, or anything I want to achieve that seems confusing and a bit overwhelming, I declare it a ‘project’. Somehow, just naming it that makes it easier to tackle. An ‘issue’ or a ‘problem’ is messy and pressing and very not nice. If you have a ‘project’, however, you have time. You have the responsibility to approach the question from several points of view before you start thinking of ways to achieve results. And even when you start implementing these actions, there is little pressure, you simply observe how it goes. A ‘problem’, on the other hand, has to be ‘resolved’, immediately if possible. So now shut up everyone who says semantics don’t matter.

At the moment, I have four major projects on the go (and when I say major, then they are really minor, but they matter to me a great deal)

Project #1: Write A Novel In A Month. This does need some planning – when best to do it? what do I need? how many words a day? In this case, declaring it a ‘project’ also helps me doing it. Otherwise it would be one of those things that make me think “I could do that. I should do that!” and then I never do it.

Project #2: Organise A Summer Gathering. Sadly, or luckily, I have my closest friends spread across several countries. This can be fun, but it also means that we don’t see each other as much. The distance, as well, and the different lives we lead, make it more difficult to organise get-togethers. I have also always been the oraganiser when it comes to those things, partly because I’m quite good at things like this and mostly because noone else would do it and I really want things to happen, so I just do them myself. I actually like it, though. Group work is not really my style, way too messy. It means however, if I want something to happen this summer, I have to nag everyone on a regular basis about everything from telling me when they’re free to booking flights to actually packing their bags. And nagging is not really on the top of my list of fun things to do. I’ll do it though, now that it is a project.

Project #3: Sleep. This one might be the biggest project so far, and you’ll be likely to hear tons about it in the near future. Basically, I don’t have problems sleeping, but I do have problems going to bed and getting out of bed, for some reason. I do my best work at night, so it’s hard for me to waste quality working and creative time by just going to sleep. This, however, has completely disrupted my sleeping pattern and the general rhythm of my life. Gotta get that sorted, and I will.

Project #4: Read A Lot. This is where calling it a project really helps me be happier instantly. For years ‘read a lot’ was a resolution that I loosely remembered, but never fulfilled to my satisfaction. This is partly because reading widens your horizon and the more you read the more you think you should read, but also because I don’t think of reading as important as it is because I enjoy it so much. So now that I’ve made it an official project, I’ll keep track of what I read, I’ll make lists of what to read next, and just like that, reading a book feels a lot more like accomplishing something than like wasting time.

Also, (as you might have noticed) I have realised today how fun it is linking back to past posts! I’ll promise not to overdo it though.

B x

Leon, oh Leon…

Featuring today: The best ever cookbook(s) I have come across so far in my life. Woohoo!

We all eat. It is a necessity, yet it can also be a source of a lot of problems and issues. We eat too much or too little, we spend too much money on food, we don’t eat healthy enough, we don’t know how to cook, we never have the time and energy to cook, and then if we cook we always cook too much and don’t know what to do with the leftovers, … the list is bloody long. And we haven’t even started on actual eating issues.

Of course, now to expect a cookbook to solve all these problems would be foolish, but it can certainly help. More with the problems I mentioned earlier, but if you consider yourself to have eating issues and you consider to buy a cookbook, you’re certainly on a good way (or not, who knows). Anyway, I have found the ideal cookbook for myself, which helped (and continues to help) me out significantly in my day-to-day life.

Now maybe if I describe to you how and why this is true, you’ll also get to know some of the features of the book(s). As you have already established from the plural in brackets, there is more than one book. Basically, these books are written by some people who run a small chain of fast food restaurants in London. Their business idea was to make and sell fresh and healthy fast food that tastes delicious. So when they were successful with that, they decided to publish some of their tried and tested recipes in a book. And then another. And then another.

So, you now already know that these books help me solve some of my food-related problems: It is fast, fresh, (more or less) healthy and delicious. More importantly though: generally, the books feature quite simple meals. Simple not only in terms of making them, but also in terms of their style. For someone like me, who has the taste buds of a child, a lot of cookbooks are useless, because the meals they feature are waaay to fancy. Especially when people think that they should combine fruit with a savoury meal, they have lost me entirely. And this doesn’t mean I don’t love food, oh, believe me, I do. And my taste is very varied: I love classic dishes at home, Greek food, Italian food, Asian food, all of that. But rather rustic, please.

Then, the other major problem I have with cooking and eating is the effort. It just takes so much time till something is ready and so little time for me to eat is once it is ready, so why bother. Well, these books are beautiful. Like truly beautiful. And you don’t even have to be a bibliophile to notice it. Every recipe is elaborately illustrated, the entire book benefits from the ingenious graphic design and it is nice to look, even nice to touch. It all looks so delicious and easy to make that walking to the supermarket over the road and preparing a fresh meal feels like so much less of a hassle.

Now, I almost forgot mentioning the name, although you might have gotten that from the title. They are called LEON and so far five big books (one for vegetarian cooking, one for baking, etc., cost about £20 each) and several smaller books (for things like soups, breakfast and stuff, cost about £6 each – also make great presents!) have been published. This is the website, there are also recipes and videos online. I also know that some of the books have been translated into German, so chances are good they will be available in your language too (which might be more convenient with the measurements).

Please go to the bookshop closest too you and look at it yourself, this is not the kind of book you can check out on Amazon (unless you are absolutely certain that you want it and the purchase is just an annoying formality), you have to hold it in your hands.

Also, do share any cookbooks that lighten up your life day after day.

B x

I Love You The Most When We’re In Different Places

So, after a few days of posts of things I like, I’m now back to reflecting upon my happiness project. As it is still more or less Christmas, I have chosen today to ponder upon a topic that  we all seem to forget until this time of the year: kindness. Okay, I guess that is a stereotype (not sure ‘stereotype’ is the right word though). Generally people who are kind are kind throughout the year and those who are unkind tend to also be so around Christmas.

Anyway, to show greater kindness is a key aspect of interpersonal relations in Gretchen Rubin’s book and I’d really like to show greater kindness in my everyday life. Not only would it make me happier, but I’m sure seeing me less grumpy would also greatly benefit those around me.

I have been especially attentive to this resolution during the last few days, which I spent almost exclusively around my parents. Now, I love my parents, I really do, but we have the kind of relationship that flourishes when we are apart (see picture below). When we spend a lot of time together we tend to irritate each other a lot. Like a lot. This is partly because my parents are very different in their needs and ways of expressing whatever they want to convey, but also because we are all a bit eccentric and egocentric. The whole “being considerate” business isn’t really our thing. And usually, this is fine, because we all have our own routines and friends and everything, but when we are all in the same house for too long these traits clash.

tumblr_mfk6wtUxt21r1ujmfo1_500

But I do recognize that our situation would be a lot less tense and more relaxed if we, or even just I, would try to be less grumpy and snappish, but instead show more patience, consideration and kindness.

It might sound odd, but I think sometimes it is harder to be kind to those we love than to strangers. Yesterday, I kept my resolution perfectly in the morning. I countered my dad’s grumpiness by putting on music, making breakfast, laughing at anything potentially funny and generally being so so positive. And it worked. He got less fed up with all the little things and everything was a lot better. Now I am more like my dad, so I can usually empathize with his behaviour even though it might be inappropriate or unkind. But my mum is a whole other story. She seems to run on a wholly different operating system. As a consequence, I find it harder to be patient when she is irritated and I find it harder to ‘forgive’ her less friendly actions.

My strongest enemy on this mission, however, proved to be my mood. In the morning after my shower and my first cup of coffee I was on a little high and being kind and friendly and patient and generous seemed to come natural. But just before we ate in the evening I felt so belligerent that I found it virtually impossible to even look at my parents, let alone smile and be all jolly. And even though I realised this I could not do anything about it. Note to self: Make sure to never be too hungry when around people. Maybe hunger that is the catalyst for these destructive feelings.

I am aware that this is only a tiny fraction of all the different applications that kindness has and I’ll make sure to keep you up to date on my continuing struggle.

B x